Ask Osasu is an advice column ready to answer your relationship queries. In this issue, we have four questions from people who need answers to the quandary that is love.
Please read these answers, and who knows, they might just address your situation
Ask Osasu Presents:
I just got out of a serious relationship and started talking to someone who is promising to be there for me, but I don’t believe her, what should I do?
Williams, 27
Osasu: Work at believing and trusting your partner otherwise there is no point in the relationship. Don’t make your past experience taint this one. Is it easier said than done? Absolutely. But part of being in a relationship is fighting internal battles with the past and trusting that what you have now is pure and true.
How should I feel about my boyfriend not wanting to accept any gifts from me?
Crystal, 30
Osasu: Feel good. After all, it’s not by force. It is important that you have a conversation with him about his reason for refusing gifts though. It is easy to think that he might not be comfortable with the fact that you earn enough money to spend on him. If he isn’t, you should consider whether that relationship is worth it. But It might be that you give terrible gifts and he doesn’t want to deal with that.
I think I am falling in love with my pastor, he is married, what do I do?
Mirabel, 25
Osasu: Crawl out of that love as fast as you can. Change church, in fact, move out of the cities. It is a bad idea to fall in love with a married man, much less one that has some kind of authority over you. It is a complicated mess you don’t want to be involved with.
In the past, I have been in relationships that have ended because my boyfriends kept pressuring me to have pre-marital sex, which I was totally against from the get-go. I am currently in a relationship and this time, this guy agreed when we started dating not to have sex, and now, almost a year in, he does not even bring it up. Should I be worried that he’s not brought it up, you know knowing how men are?
Agharese, 36
Osasu: Don’t let your past relationships destroy your present relationship. You have to ask yourself: why am I worried that a man is doing exactly what I asked him to do? If the answer is that you think he is getting it somewhere else, then your relationship lacks trust and that’s a huge problem.
It is easy to know if someone is in love with you by their actions. Besides, being in a relationship is a risk you take, and you cannot keep one eye open in case it goes south. You’re either all in or not.
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