Ask Osasu is back again and your relationship questions are going to be answered. Sit back and enjoy as Osasu tables the questions troubling you.
Ask Osasu Presents:
It’s not a question tho but I need your help. I just moved to Edo this week. How does one make friends here cause it’s getting lonely?
Mia, 23
Osasu:
The first thing you need to know is that making friends is not a chore. It is a natural part of human life. I understand how moving to another place can be for a person’s social life but it is essential that you never approach anyone with the goal of making friends. Yes, just hang out and see where it goes. You would have made friends before you even realized it. The best place to find new friends is in your circles. Do you have a new workplace or new neighbors? Get to know them! Also, go out to fun places and socialize. Thankfully, you can go through our posts to find fantastic places to visit. Just be easy and natural, you will make a lot of friends before you know it.
I get really horny all the time and I cannot concentrate on anything else, I’m in school and it has affected my studies, what do I do?
Chosen, 19
Osasu:
Normally, Kongi na bastard and it happens to the best of us, but being horny all the time is a huge problem. First of all, you need to get to the root of the problem. Why are you horny all the time. Is it because you surround yourself with triggering elements? Do you watch pornography and are you addicted? Once you’ve figured that out, the next thing to do is to limit or completely cut off the root. Sex can be very fulfilling but it can also be a bottomless pit. And at this age in your life, sex can be rather overwhelming. So, I’d advise a daily dose of abstinence and self-control.
Last year, my girlfriend at the time dumped me because she said I didn’t give her enough money. Now, she’s coming on to me and wants to get back. I want to take her back so I can destroy her life but I’m also thinking that I should just outrightly tell her I’m not interested and to f*ck off
Prudence, 23
Osasu:
Just as fire can never quench fire; hurt cannot quench hurt. I think you are a decent person, and that’s why you’re asking for advice instead of going ahead to ‘destroy’ this girl. You should tell her off and work on healing. It’s very clear that you’re still very hurt and it’s important you don’t let that ruin your life.
I’m turning 29 this year and I’m afraid I may never find my own person but the truth is, I’m not even making any effort to find them and I shy away when someone new shows me any kind of interest. I genuinely want to settle down but I’ve been hurt way too many times, I’m not sure my heart can take any more hurt
Sandra, 29
Osasu:
Well, Sandra, I think you know what the problem is. You need to put yourself out there. You can’t let past hurts hold you back from the promise of a great relationship. I am not saying disregard the past; the past is there to learn from. But “don’t do it again” is an overly simplistic and lazy lesson to learn from the past. Another thing is, do not be overly concerned about your age. Ignore the so-called “biological clock” and just focus on you. Yes, give love another try, but don’t let the pressure drive you to make the wrong decisions.
I don’t like to spend money, it almost physically hurts me to spend money on myself and sometimes my family. There could be a family emergency and I have money in my account but I’ll still insist I don’t have and just watch them run around to get it fixed, but I don’t know how to deal with the guilt that plagues me afterwards
Marvellous, 26
Osasu:
Wow, you need to cast out that spirit of Aka gum o! On a more serious note though, you need to ask yourself why you would rather your loved ones struggle for what you could give them. Is it because you had nothing as a child and have become very clingy with material things? Do you think your family is too needy? Whatever your reason is, you should try to help your family and friends whenever you can. I mean, what is money and material things for?
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