5 People You Will Find In A Comrade Bus

I used to think the Comrade bus was for ‘sapa brethren’ until we had to start buying naira. That period was legit the most difficult time in my adult life, I mean, I trek sotey my shoe file. Literally! It wasn’t until my friend gave me the Comrade bus hack that my life became better. In case you don’t know, the Comrade bus is Edo State’s version of BRT. It is a very affordable transport option and I’d recommend it whether you are a ‘sapa brethren’ or not.
Before you use it though, allow me give you some info about 5 people you will find on the Comrade bus.
They are;

Old and Entitled

These ones take the biblical commandment ‘Honor thy father and mother’ very personally. They demand respect but forget that respect is reciprocal. They always want you to give up your seat for them but will raise their voice and even try to bully you. The effrontery! Some of them will even try to emotionally blackmail you using statements like ‘you no get mama for house?’ Sha don’t make the mistake of responding because you will become the gist of the trip! Also, if you can, please give up your seat for national peace to reign.

Young and Restless

By their smell and sweat, you shall know them. You will not miss this bunch if you take a ride in the Comrade bus after school hours. I understand that children play a lot, and I did too at their age. But haba, the smell is a looooot! Please sit by the windows if you want to survive.

Frontline Gang

Team ‘I can never be the last in Jesus’ name but they back it up with actions. These people will boldly ignore the long queue and jump to the front because ‘NA THEIR BIRTHRIGHT!‘ Don’t bother telling them they aren’t in their rightful position, they know! But they’ll tell you how they were on the queue before but went to buy pure water. Pure water wey you no go see! If you know where they sell this type of audacity, please me directions.

Pastor Obubuyeye

If you don’t understand Edo language, obubuyeye means nonsense and that’s the best way to describe what some of these self-acclaimed pastors do in Comrade buses. It’s absolutely fine to share the gospel with others but please it’s ‘not fight’. Why are you shouting and spitting on us all? Shey your saliva na anointing oil ni? Which kind wahala be this?! It’s not by force to shout hallelujah, abeg!

Chairperson

You see these ones? Don’t ever sit close to them! They may not even let you but if they do, just know that the three fishes in ‘Titus’ sardines would have more breathing space than you. They will squeeze the life out of you and still have the guts to say you’re occupying too much space. God help you if your trip is a long one or you get stuck in traffic, you would legit not feel your legs when you eventually stand up.

Las las, all of this doesn’t matter if you need to save money like me. I’ve kuku learned how to deal with all of these people over time. So if you’re an ex ajebutter like me who is learning to be pako, just be prepared for an experience you will never forget.

Learn how to survive in Benin City here.