Welcome to Ask Osasu, the advice column that’s here to help you navigate the highs and lows of life, love, and everything in between. If you’re asking yourself, “What is love?” or “Where can I find love?” – don’t worry, you’re not alone!
Whether you’re searching for the perfect partner or just trying to understand your own heart a little better, I’m here to offer a listening ear, a kind word, and some seriously sage advice. So, grab a cup of tea, get cozy, and let’s dive into your most pressing questions together.
Onis, 23
What is love?
Osasu
That is a broad question. Love is different things to different people. To some, it is a deep connection they have or feel with someone or something else. To others, it might simply be the recognition that they want a life where someone or something is present. Whatever, it is. Love is beautiful and can change you life forever. It is such a fortunate thing to be able to experience true love in one’s lifetime.
Ijele, 27
Where can I find true love?
Osasu
Ijele, I won’t lie to you. You can find love anywhere; inside a bus, on a dating app, on social media, in a restaurant, in the gym, in the ghetto, in the village, in the eyes of a complete stranger (in which case you should run). It is important to know, however, that true love is elusive and can be easily mistaken for lust, obsession, and things that are dirty and impure.
Abbas, 19
What advice can you give me? At a young age, I am feeling burdened, and stressed, have a low tolerance level, and easily get angry at people, I am very satisfied with life though, but these days I find it hard to tolerate people.
Osasu
Stress can cause a lot of things, and at your age (where you are just entering adulthood), it is doubly challenging, because it can be new and strange. Regardless, it is important not to take out your burdens on other people. I’d advise that you practice being more self-conscious when you are around people or when you begin to feel yourself about to explode. You can quickly leave a situation that is triggering or take deep breaths and think deeper about the words that are about to come out of your mouth. If you are up to it, you might also want to take up exercising. You could register at a gym, start boxing or karate classes, or simply just take long evening walks where you can have a moment to reflect on the day. This will give you an avenue to vent
Silver, 23
I recently started dating (long distance). Right now, I’m fed up and tired of the relationship. This is the first time I’m trying long-distance though, each time my boyfriend calls or chats me up, I get tired and just try to give excuses to end it (it wasn’t like this at the earlier stage of the relationship). I’m the type that loves calling and texting though (in my past relationships). This is the first time in all the years I’ve dated it’s happening this way though. I just want to know if I’m okay, and also for any advice that could help.
Osasu
Well, it seems like you are bored. It also seems like you have lost a vital connection necessary to keep any relationship going. Relationships are hard work, and long-distance relationships are even harder. I’d have liked to know how long you and your current boyfriend dated before you had to do long-distance. If you had a good time (not necessarily a long one) with him in person, now is the time to reflect on the things you liked about him and latch on to those. You also have to put in more effort by renewing the frequency of your texts and calls and spicing up the relationship with new things.
Your other option is to break up with him. It is important to state that that is absolutely okay. Never prolong a relationship you are no longer feeling because of the other party’s feelings, you might end up hurting them more.
If you have a burning question or a tricky situation you need help with, don’t hesitate to send it in by using our form, and let’s tackle it together!
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