I know some of us would rather get COVID once a month for the rest of our life than be in the friend zone. If you are that person, first, you need help. Secondly, we got you. I mean, the friend zone is a dreadful place to be kept, especially by someone you are really attracted to.
In this article, we’ll show you how to avoid it like the plague with six simple rules:
Avoiding the Friend Zone at All Cost
Discover Their Standards First
Act like a spy. Since they think you are a friend, they are more likely to tell you everything they like and dislike. Such a free expo can come in handy later. But first, don’t be an idiot, if you are not their type, don’t even bother because they will never see you in the light of someone they could date. But if you’ve seen that you have hope, ehen, then you can start gathering valuable intel.
Declare Your Intentions
As they use to say: a closed mouth is a closed destiny. Don’t assume that if you show them enough love, they will realize that you are the one. Don’t play that game cos you will lose (like the unfortunate soul betting on Arsenal ever lifting the Premier League Cup). You think this is film? You better tell them that you wanna date cos they are entering your eye. Don’t go and change yourself to Adviser Nowamagbe on top best friend when other less deserving people are sampling the goods.
Have Other Options
Don’t die on top of one person’s matter. Mama ain’t raise no fool. Have sense and have it in abundance. What does that mean? It means don’t put your precious eggs in one basket otherwise the stakes will always be too high. And when that happens, you are more likely to settle and resign to your fate of being in the friend zone. God forbid!
Don’t Be Accessible All the Time.
Come, why are you always at their beck and call? Don’t you have a job? Better be unavailable at least three times a day. I don’t know how to hammer this into your head but it’s not every call you must pick and it’s not every “Are you busy?” you must respond with “no”. Availability breeds disregard and every other kind of nonsense. Don’t fall for it
Make It Clear You Are Not Here for Friendship.
If you think that is harsh, then start buying the Mouka foam that you will use to sleep in the friend zone. The war against the friend zone is brutal and anybody that entangles themselves in friendly things will see correct shege. You better give them an ultimatum, and if they ask you if it’s by force, tell them that the push or pull on an object with mass that causes it to change its velocity has nothing to do with it.
Let There Be Sexual Tension
Lastly, be sexy just because. Don’t slouch. Don’t be caught dead in average something. Slay! Eat and leave no crumbs! Shame the devil who causes basic b****s to roam the earth. Make them quiver in your presence. I’m talking Beyonce/Michael B Jordan energy. I’m talking telenovela sexiness – the one that makes them think of you in slow-mo as you step into a room. Be that!
As always, I’m sure I missed some great points on how to avoid the friend zone. Tell me all about it in the comments.
Jared’s body count went from 0 to 150 in just a year, read his story here.
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