The One That Got Away

There is always the one that got away. Someone you fancied a thing with that never materialized. Michael (24) shares one such story with us:

Start from the beginning, we want to know everything. Who’s the one that got away?

Michael

First of all, I’d like to be referred to as the devourer of [vaginas]

Let’s pretend that’s not concerning

Michael

Yeah, anyway, it was my first year in Uniben, and a friend and I were sitting for a class. My friend seemed to know the girl in front of us and tapped her to introduce himself. At first, she seemed not to know him, but eventually, she remembered who he was and I was introduced. For the sake of the story, I’ll call her Faith but I have a nickname for her, which will become obvious at the end of my story.

Soon, she started visiting me at my store on Ring Road. It started as if she wanted to do some business with me. She had some snacks she made and wanted me to sell them at her shop.

So obviously we got closer

Obviously

I left and I created an agenda to make her fall in love with me. And then every weekend, I’ll come to our house just to talk to her, and have fun with her.

Michael

Every day, during and after classes, we would have conversations concerning everything. Out of the blue, one day, she told me she could never date someone like me. Like I was out of her class and she said it so matter of fact.

Oh, that couldn’t have been easy

Michael

I felt attacked. I felt triggered. What did she mean by I was not her level and she couldn’t date me? I mean, I wasn’t even interested and I didn’t come on to her at all. It just felt unnecessary. Anyways, that’s why I devised a plan to deal with her.

Oh no, I’m not sure I’m liking this [said I, sitting more comfortably in my seat]

Michael

Yeah, so I decided that I was going to make her fall in love with me.

Anyway, so I told her I didn’t. Then she goes: “I’m horny, what are you going to do about that”? At this point, I was hard, like she’d turned me on. Now, I wasn’t interested in her, not really, but the situation was quite hot.

Like in the movies?

Michael

[Laughs] Like in the bloody movies, yeah. From that day, I was so calm. I left and I created an agenda to make her fall in love with me. And then every weekend, I’ll come to our house just to talk to her, and have fun with her. And just like that, I started doing it more often, until a certain day like this, I came into her house out from under the sun. I was sweating and I decided to take my shirt off.

Hmmm, just decided to take off your shirt in a girl’s house, Michael? No ulterior motives?

Michael

No, like it wasn’t deliberate, I didn’t care, honestly. Anyways, I started noticing that the room temperature went up and the tension in the room increased

Oh boy, so the room temperature went up, don’t tell me you took off your pants next.

Michael

[Laughs] no, like, I noticed that her body language was different. Like she was gasping for air, and couldn’t seem to stay put. She would just stand and go into her room and come back again multiple times. She lay down on a lounge chair, crossed her legs, sometimes she faced me, then faced the other side. It was weird.

And what did you think was the cause of all this

Michael

Well [an actual period]. Anyway, she started asking some funny questions like: do you have a girlfriend? I didn’t, so I told her no. After her Q & A session, she went into her room again, changed her clothing from bum shorts to a dress, and came back in.

Hmmmmmm

It was like I was in another zone. It was miasma down there. It was crazy. The smell was like acid, it assaulted my nasal senses and I’m not sure I didn’t lose consciousness for a second there

Michael

And then, she started advancing. Before I knew it, she was on my laps

You didn’t see it coming?

Michael

Well. She sat on my lap. Then she asks me, do you have condoms? Now, I’m there to work on a school project we are doing together so it would have been funny if I did.

I see your point

Michael

Anyway, so I told her I didn’t. Then she goes: “I’m horny, what are you going to do about that”? At this point, I was hard, like she’d turned me on. Now, I wasn’t interested in her, not really, but the situation was quite hot.

I see

Michael

So I told her I don’t have a condom, but we could do something without one. So we started smooching and whatnot. A bit of context, at this point, let’s just say my sexual experience with another human being was zero.

Oh no, not the V word

Michael

Yeah, the V word. I was a virgin. Anyways, so I was going for the [vagina]. I put my fingers in between her legs, fingered her for a second, and then, decided to smell my fingers.

Oh wow, is that like some virgin move?

One fateful day. I went there. She opened up to me. She said it had been a very intense few weeks. And then, she made me a confession and said she would like us to be in a relationship

Michael

I’m glad I did though because what came through my nostrils knocked the breath out of me.

What?

Michael

It was like I was in another zone. It was miasma down there. It was crazy. The smell was like acid, it assaulted my nasal senses and I’m not sure I didn’t lose consciousness for a second there. It was simply insane, no words minced.

Oh boy

Michael

I think I’ve had PTSD since then because anytime I’m about to have sex since then, I must inspect and make sure it is free of foul smells. I mean, I don’t want to die.

So you got out of that place as fast as you could?

Michael

No, I continued kissing her but never initiated sex. I also ensure my hands didn’t get anywhere near my face, jeez. At some point, she asked if I wasn’t going to smash her, and I told her not that day. But of course, I meant, never!

Oh

Michael

When we were done, we both went our separate ways. And funnily enough, she enjoyed the makeout session so much that she didn’t require sex anymore from me. I kept going to her house because my goal was not complete; she said she would never date somebody like me. And my goal was to make her admit or rather, confess, that she was in lo with me and we should be in a relationship.

I see

Michael

Eventually, she did. One fateful day. I went there. She opened up to me. She said it had been a very intense few weeks. And then, she made me a confession and said she would like us to be in a relationship. I told her I wasn’t interested. And after that, I fled. Stopped going to her house. Mission accomplished.

Wow

Michael

And that’s how, plot twist, I became the one that got away [laughs]

Three people tell us about their heartbreak in this heart-wrenching piece.