Have you ever fallen in love with someone who lives thousands of miles away? No, not your celebrity crush, we’re talking about real love. Well, that’s exactly what happened to 23-year-old Esosa, a gay man living in Benin City. But instead of bumping into his dream man at Kada or Mat Ice, Esosa found love online with a charming Spaniard living 3000 miles away.
In this interview, Esosa spills the tea on the ups and downs of his long-distance love affair and the challenges of maintaining a relationship through a screen. From dealing with the distance thing to seething in jealousy for just how tall his boyfriend is, Esosa’s story is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever tried to keep a relationship going in the digital age.
Tell us about your partner.
He’s tall and handsome, caring, can’t cook, which is cute, loves reading, and is open to new and exciting things. He’s good with English even though he also speaks Spanish. He has gray hair with gives off that daddy vibes. And he really loves kids and games.
How did you meet?
We met on a dating site which sounds strange but yes. At first, I just thought of him as a good friend from a faraway place that I could gossip with. But then it got boring, and I decided to end things. But I noticed after the time we exchanged numbers, he always viewed my post, for like a whole year, and I was impressed that someone whom I’d ditched still stuck with me and I felt ashamed of myself. So I decided to say hi and we took it off from there, and today, it has become way better than anything I could have wished for
When did this relationship start?
Well, it started in April last year, I can’t remember the day. It is a funny experience till today and I never want to ever forget the moment I spent with him even though it was mostly online
What’s your relationship like?
Like two crazy lovers who love to have sex and experiment on many crazy things at the same time. We are like close friends but I mostly depend on him and I really hope someday I can repay him for all the amazing things and experiences he has given me. So yes, our relationship is like that of really good friends with benefits.
Why him? Couldn’t you date someone closer?
Well, I could but searching for the right one might take time, which is strange because everyone close to me ain’t really my type. And also, as the saying goes, “the Devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.” I’m not saying it in a creepy way but something like that. And also I have spoken to a lot of people out there and he was the nicest and most caring of all I have met or spoken to. Especially, as regards not wanting me for my body
What do you like about him?
Hmmm, what do I like about him you ask? Well, I could say his playful nature. He loves to learn new things and he loves the Black race, which I find fantastic. The fact that he can’t cook is cute. Jajaja, that’s how you write ‘hahaha’ in Spanish – he taught me that. He is a lover of movies and comics and sex (laughs). So many things that I can’t remember. The fact that there’s still so much to know about him makes me happy.
What don’t you like about him?
What I dislike about him may make you laugh. But yes, I hate, not dislike but hate, how he’s taller than me (laughs). I feel like I might be the weak one in the relationship because he’s also stronger than me to the point I could cry. I also dislike the fact that he doesn’t believe in Christ Jesus, Christianity, or the fact that there could be supernatural phenomena out there. But I know I can make him believe, even though that might end up being my life’s mission (laughs). He loves staying indoors or even if he goes out it will only be to eat or visit a museum or art gallery, which might get boring for me but I also believe I can make new things excite him.
How do you cope with the long-distance relationship?
Well, the biggest issue about long-distance relationships is that most people, like me, who love physical connection almost every day can go crazy from not having their partner close to them. Wanting to smell their lover, weird but lovely, but still trying to overcome obstacles like this only makes the relationship stronger, I think.
Do you have plans to meet him?
Yes, what do you want me to say? (laughs) Would I really hope we meet in person because it would be an optimistic and exciting experience work? The truth is, f*ck yes, that’s obvious. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see someone whom they have a lot of good things to say about? Who won’t want to meet someone they are dating? If that person doesn’t want to, then he or she isn’t in a relationship. So yes, I have massive plans to meet him.
What are your thoughts on long-distance relationships? Comment below.
Learn the story of the one who gets away here.
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